Other news: Grandma's sister passed away. I think if the roads are decent I am going to attend the services. I really wanted to go to the wake with my dad but I couldn't get out of work and the kiddo has school and other activities. Another trip to "home". I am truly beginning to hate these trips as nothing good ever comes from them. Another lecture from this person or that one. It's really too bad that this can't just be about what it needs to be about.

My mind is going 100 miles an hour. I should be sad but inside i'm mad. Mad that you won't be there for me anymore. Mad that it was my choice but not really. Mad that someone you are there for may be there too. I don't want to see them. But Ican't see you either. Life is a complicated thing and someday I hope to have this figured out. Someday in this life or next. Whichever it will be... i can wait for you but will you wait for me?