Enjoying solitude.
Reviewing the days.
The same theme replays over and over and over.
I think of you.
I miss you.
I feel caged.
I cannot escape.
Today - the theme is new.

I discovered that the one I loved I never really knew.
His face for me was different than the one he had for everyone else.
His fear of letting me down kept him closed to me.
In the end he said that he felt insignificant.
Is this why he kept himself from me?
He didn't want me to see his shortcomings?
I knew they were there.  I always knew.
I feel more disappointed that he gave his best to everyone but me.
I received that which he thought I wanted.
Really though I didn't want what he gave.
I just wanted to know him.
The real him.
Actually, I take that back.
I wanted to him as others saw him.
But only the good.
Maybe he was right after all.
I just wanted him to be something that he wasn't.
I wanted him to be more.
I still do.